With Only Ourself To Blame Today...Or Everyday...

The Platypus: "Hello!"

The Gerbil: "Don't make me bite you."

The Platypus: "Awww, you aren't very nice today!"

The Gerbil: "Am I ever?"

The Platypus: "I guess there must have been a time you were nice..."

The Gerbil: "Uh, no."

The Platypus: "Don't you even care about your own happiness? There must be some hidden secret encrypted... I will discover it!"

The Gerbil: "You want to know why? Because all I want to do is sleep, have sex, and eat my kids. Is that all? Jeez..."

The Platypus: "Don't you do that already?"

The Gerbil: "I can't."

The Platypus: "If it makes you happy you should do it!"

The Gerbil: "My owner decides if I get a girl friend. Even then there is a chance that the she could be a he... I guess if I needed too I could go homosexual. I heard it isn't that bad. Downside is that I wouldn't have any kids to eat."

The Platypus: "You are quite optimistic today."

The Gerbil: "Go lay an egg."